Tuesday, October 03, 2017

A Counsellor's Lament

In the larger picture, the longsighted lens, the distant future
All I want is to help people
To give, to love, to encourage and reassure
All I want is to help people

In the you, is your self, your being, your life, your spirit
To you I am but a mirror
I reflect your love, your beauty, your worth and your music
On my glass plate painted with silver

But if you show hurt, anger, frustration and strive
With love I try to help you,
Your self worth, your confidence, your strength and your drive,
With empathy I will try to boost you.

In your worth, your esteem, your confidence, your breath
Is where lay your foundations to joy
They belong inside you, within your depths
Not outside as another’s toy

In the larger picture, the longsighted lens, the distant future
All I want is to help people
To give, to love, to encourage and reassure
All I want is to help people

Sunday, February 26, 2017

It doesn't hurt to try

"it doesn't hurt to try" (to be patient with a lgbt-phobic parent)

When does hurt count as hurt??

When the lgbt child tries for 10 years, with endless patience to explain their life to their parent, to share links and articles, and even to write some themselves in the futile attempt to 'try' to be understood?
When the lgbt child is rejected and condemned repeatedly, just for existing?
When the lgbt child has been kicked out and is homeless?
When the lgbt child feels isolated and has no one to talk to?
When the lgbt child feels wrong for existing as they are?
When the lgbt child gets depresed?
When the lgbt child self-harms?
When the lgbt child seeks medical help for mental health issues?
When the lgbt child kills themself?

It doesn't hurt to try....

You are wrong...

I've been there...

It CAN and DOES hurt.

Monday, November 28, 2016

Goodbye mother

You cannot love me
If you think I am possessed
You cannot love me
If you think I'm devil blessed

You cannot love me
If you don't know my life
You cannot love me
If you don't know my daily strife

If you cannot love me
For as long as I am bisexual
Then I cannot love you
As long as you're that judgemental

You cannot love me
If you can't accept my good
You cannot love me
If you think I am no good

Even if you think I am Satan's possession
Condemning my deeds won't bring me to you
My love my good my unending compassion
Is reserved for those who do love me too

Did Jesus not say, 'judge not lest ye be judged'
The Christians I know, to that they adhere
Your hate, your fear, your words do begrudge
Your judgment echoes so loud and so clear

You cannot love me
If you place faith above blood
Jesus would have loved me
But your heart judgment floods

Goodbye mother
We part now for good
I'm no more your daughter
I cut now our blood.

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Who do you love mother,
your child and your progeny,
How much do you know of her
This person in your family tree.

What do you love mother,
The carrier of your genes,
How much do you know of her,
Does she love greens or jeans?

Do you see the good in her
Her kindness and her love
The intelligence of this microscope whisperer
The skill within her glove.

Do you just see the devil
When she speaks of her love for girls
Do you think she’s just a rebel
Out in town for some twirls.

Do you think she is wicked
For detesting the president-elect
The rights she had gain he would undid
Her life his believes can wreck

Do you see how much she cares for the world
The time she gives to those in need
Do you believe she’s destined for the underworld
Despite the blood she bleeds

How much do you know of her, mother
Her causes, advocacy and activism
The good is there and clear to all
She’s shown unbridled altruism.

Who do you love mother,
Just your child and your progeny,
Will you love her person whole,
Or just your Gs, Cs, As, and Ts?

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Do Not Say You Know Me

Do not say you know me,
Just because I bear your genes.
Do not say you know me,
Just because you watched my teens.

From as young as seven
I was taught to tell untruths
When I reached eleven
I reached outside for a sooth

Do not say you know me,
Just because I lived with you
Do not say you know me,
Just because the years accrue,

When I was young you taught deceit
You told me white lies were harmless
And week after week you made me repeat
That soon I could lie with finesse

Do not say you know me
Though you can say you love
Do not say you know me
If you know of the past I speak of

I bear scars from those days
5 years don't just disappear
your eyes please unglaze
and listen to me hear

Do not say you know me
For I know well that you don't
Do not say you know me
For the me you know has flown.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

In the Halls of Learning

The sky is a greyish white
like the shutters over the window,
I look towards the hazy light
wishing I was out below

Away from this high-walled hall
and out where the sky is blue,
Having fun to nature's call
absorbing warmth from the spring sun's hue.

Far away from lectures of lasers
or even semiconductors and nanostructures,
I'd rather be paddling in rivers
or scaling magestic rock structures.

Looking over fields and flowers
Feeling the breeze on exposed skin,
Living life like first time lovers
Frolicking free with my heart's kin.

Enjoying the smells of grassy spring
of flowers and fruits and morning dew,
Listening to flying birds chirp and sing
As the dawn sun starts the day anew.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

In time

A bird in a cage
Empty words on a page
The passing of an age
A life on a stage
A desire to disengage

Saturday, April 28, 2007

House of Flying Daggers

White snow floating down
Blood drops scattered all around
One person will die.

A love not returned
A life given to protect
A helpless soul weeps.

Thursday, March 22, 2007


Sampai senja kita berbual
Emosi berkucak-kacik

aku merindukan si tanahair
peristiwa tujuh bulan lalu
risau yang dia sudah lupakanku
Engkau cuba memeriahkanku
dengan tiada jayanya
air mataku menitik untuknya
untuknya yang tidak mengingatiku

Soalan yang bermain dalam hatiku
engkau tiba-tiba tanya
soalan yang sepatutnya disimpan selama-lamanya
Hal ini bukan mainan.
mengapa engkau tanya? mengapa?
Mindaku mungkin hendakanmu...
tapi hakikatknya lain
Aku menyukaimu...... bukan mencintai..
Lima bulan tertinggal..
Lebih baik untuk kita kekal sahaja..
sebagai sahabat.

Lima bulan...
sebelum aku kembali kepada si tanahair
banyak soalan yang kutanyakan
soalan yang akan disimpan sahaja.
Aku harus lupakannya...
tapi itu mustahil...
Hatiku berdebar mengingatinya

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

get publishing...

Putting my views in the line of fire
Out for all to shame or admire
Hoping the words will somehow inspire
Someone somewhere away in some shire

My words may never carry weight
They will just lie quietly and await
For a day when someone may yet relate
And let the world know of theo the great.