Thursday, March 07, 2024

I want to be a ghost

 

I mask my words but rarely my face

When I wish to speak it’s never the place

My words my politics you’ll never embrace

If I wait for permission I’ll just be erased

 

Stepping out my flat is an exercise in bravery

The world is caught in capitalist slavery

The rich upholding the structure of patriarchy

Everyone to some extent acquiesces to conformity

 

To most I am different, an oddball, abnormal

I didn’t choose this outcome, to be nonconformal

I was born out of time, my gestation subnormal

I was born out of place, not out the right canal

 

I wish I didn’t see all the world’s suffering

I wish I couldn’t hear all that silent screaming

I wish I didn’t feel all the narcissists’ abuse

I wish I didn’t live – I want to be a ghost

Friday, March 01, 2024

My brain is now marshmallow

Unable to teach

I am swimming in tallow 

Don't tell me don't tell me to go into the night

 When the ones in power are the horsemen of discrimination

Of racism of queer phobia of ableism of misinformation

Hammers of the abuser and anvil of the patriarchy

Ultimately all working for furthering white supremacy


I do not go gently into the good night

My mind filled with rage my heart filled with fright

My siblings abuse plagued, my world darkness blights

Don't tell me don't tell me to look to the light


My poetry is getting more and more unhinged

As my brain and my heart gets increasingly deranged

Is it me am I mad or is this world just strange

Where billionaires are heroes but activists get lynched


I have no fight left to give, just poetry to recite

This world's worn me down for I am queer and am not white 

My life darkness takes, my pen my only might

Don't tell me don't tell me to go into the night

Thursday, February 29, 2024

I do not go gently into that good night

 I do not go gently into that good night

The system has robbed me off all of the light

I don't know how much there is left in me of 'fight'

Don't tell me don't tell me to look to the light


I have no control over what people think of me

I just live my life with my full authenticity

I don't hide I don't veil I am what you see

The result of trauma of disorder of suicidality


I cannot tell you what's wrong or what's right

But I can feel in my heart when the night takes the light

When prejudice prevails and evil incites

Don't tell me don't tell me to look to the light



I rage against the dying of the light

 

I rage against the dying of the light

But my hands are tied,

My words are silenced

 

I see no tunnel, and therefore no light

The night consumes

The darkness blanketing

 

Do not go gently into the good night

I will not I assure you

But this night is not good

 

This night is imposed

Prejudiced preconceptions

Character assassination

 

This fog, this mist, this smog endless

Externally generated

Not nature intended

 

Rage rage with nowhere to go

Rage rage at lies and waffle

Rage rage against the system

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Helpless crying rage
Judgy words on a page
prejudice all around
preconceptions tie and bound

Abuse from all directions
wanton misinformation
wither human compassion
awful awful situation


Tuesday, January 16, 2024

A problem with society

 I live with heart on sleeve

authenticity unconstrained
empathy overflowing

On badges, on earrings, on necklaces,
On lanyards, on tattoos.. even on hair
I display more of me than many think appropriate
For if I hide too much I end up dead

Some people judge me harshly
some resent and frown
some blame and say

"if you conform you won't get all this negative attention you complain about"

they feel an instant dislike, a lightning dismissal

But are they mad at me
or mad at themselves?

for they see their inauthenticity reflected back to them
my nonconformity highlights their conformity
they see that i've cast off the chains they still have on
the restraints of society, tight around their body

while i, with my free expression, am all cast loose

it is a trade, for they move less visibly
they may not be free, but fitting in is valued
and they have a privilege - their conformity demands less acceptance less tolerance, just... Less..

It is a lie, and a deception, for in their invisibility, is it safety they really gain?
Or just a decrease in vulnerability?
Two sides of a coin, or maybe..
The same side described in different words

I don't do what I do to attract negative attention
It is not the goal
though people accuse me of it
It is not

I wear my authenticity
Because of I don't
I'll be dead

That's the plain truth
And if that increases my vulnerability
That is not a problem with me
It is a problem with society




Sunday, December 17, 2023

Oh December Period of maudlin despair How loud shout your defenders With bells and songs to spare
Oh dark winter evenings Creeping with quiet desperations Building up silent longings Of future and past companions
Oh cold chilly air Blow in winds of sadness Settling in my cozy lair With my memories and loneliness

Tuesday, November 28, 2023

I

i DID
i PTSD
i ADHD
i autism

i activist
i educator
i advocate
i volunteer

i teacher
i technician
i troubleshooter
i scientist

i bisexual
i female
i nonbinary
i cis

i sex positive
i polyamorous
i vagina museum staff
i person with vagina

i immigrant
i racialised
i blue hair
i rainbow clothes

i chef
i crochet artist
i sewist
i poet

i friend
i lover
i sister i auntie i catmum

i human
i person
i worthy
i whole

you stranger
you intruder
you authority
you questioner

you assessor
you reporter
you interogator
you glancer

you judge
you jury
you executor
you persecutor

this is a poem about a person with many conditions
a person with many sides and many facets
and like a diamond, a ball, or a five hundred year old cropolite
it is not possible to see all sides at the same time in a snapshot

this is called having four dimensions

is masking a lie
if masking helps to keep them alive
in a world unsafe
a world imposing
a world of judgement
and endless harrassment

Monday, July 24, 2023

I will die for you

 

I will die for you

For dying is easy

I will not live for you

Or for anyone

If my life is unbearable

I can live for joy, for freedom, and for love

I can live for happiness, for connection and for synchronicity

When my brain waves align

With Butternut, or with Jay

That is ecstasy

 

But teaching the kids or paying the bills

The daily toil of cooking, of laundry

Of the smelly lift and effing commute

I do not live for that

That is not life

 

I do not want to serve capitalism

But I am alive and therefore I must

I live for the good times

But the toil of earning the freedom to do so

Day after day, year after year

 

If that is all that life is, then I would rather die.

I live to create, I live to connect, I live to enjoy.

I do not live for any one soul,

But if my death would benefit you in a way that makes me joyous

I will die for you

 

 

 

 

Monday, November 07, 2022

WHAT DOES SHE KNOW, SHE'S JUST A TECHNICIAN- a poem

 

What do I know I’m just a technician

I only have a meagre 13 years’ experience

You’d like to do some microscope acquisition?

Nah don’t look for me I’m just a technician

 

How much was that new microscope Ki?

Just under a million, I reckon ay?

When will it be our lab’s turn to try?

We want to look at our mutant fruit fly

 

Don’t come to me I’m not an expert

What do I know of the microscope invert

Mind that 30k lens on the objective turret

Scratches and crashes you may want to avert

 

What do I know I’m just a technician

I’m not a high browed grey-haired academician

I know which scopes have better transmission

I can probably explain complex super resolution

 

I must have a use or why am I employed

I help image cells, tissues, organoids and spheroids

But yet when I raise techniques to avoid

I get treated like I’m not even humanoid

 

What do I know I’m just a technician

What do I know about photon emission

Or about the importance of experiment repetition

What do I know I’m just a technician

 

 

 

 

 

I want to be a ghost

  I mask my words but rarely my face When I wish to speak it’s never the place My words my politics you’ll never embrace If I wait for...